5 Clues to Finding Your Calling (and 5 Things Your Calling is Not)

As I discuss in my book, You Did Not Choose Me, But I Chose You (mostly in chapters 16 and 20), one of the most fundamental ways God speaks to you or to me is in the fact of the way he made each of us. The reason a believe is born “again” is because he or she was also born the first time. Each of us was uniquely made, and that uniqueness is realized partly in each role, place, or purpose we might find to follow in within this world—the ways specifically opened to us by God. In a very real sense, we “converse” with God by following the way he leads, making it more than fitting that we refer to each of these ways as a “calling.”

But how do we identify the callings in our lives?

That is, how do we identify the purposes in our lives for which it is worth saying yes at the cost of saying no to many other things? How do we know the people to whom to say yes at the cost of saying no to many others?

I have some thoughts....

First, what I mean by “calling”: I mean a work, role, or place that God has given you to fill, carry out, persevere in, and even enjoy within this vast plan of his and within this great project of advancing the kingdom of which we are all a part. I mean the purpose so personally meaningful that committing to it—in spite of the difficulty, in spite of the oddness of going a different way—is the way for your best self to live. Many who speak of a “calling” mean simply their vocation or career. I might mean this. I also mean something larger. Your calling might be found within the labor you do each day. Your calling might also be something intimately known between God and you that is mostly unrelated to this daily work. And since you likely have more than one calling (see below), there is room for both statements to be true.

Whatever the case, “hearing” your calling is only the first challenge, and you might be hearing it already. The next challenge is to respond by choosing to go that way.

All of what I have to say here addresses just the first part. Here are five clues to hearing your calling, along with five things your calling is not.

CLUES TO YOUR CALLING

What is the calling that calls to you? You might find it in any of the following:

1. The thing only you can do

Or, slightly different: The thing before you that only you can do in the special way you seem to be doing it.

It should be no surprise that your gifts and your nature might have already drawn you near to the thing to which it is worth giving yourself more fully. That is, while such is not certain to be the case, it should be no surprise that your calling might be found in something you are already doing and doing well. (See next point.)

2. The thing to which your choices seem to have brought you, even if you didn’t know what you were choosing

Stop faulting or congratulating yourself over the choices you made that seem to have gone poorly or well. First, since you don’t know the ultimate plan for your life, you are no qualified judge of poorly or well. Second, many of our major choices in life are made in ignorance, often when we are too young or inexperienced to know ourselves or know the implications of what we are choosing. We can choose well or poorly by luck.

And yet, there is more than luck going on, of course. A current guides your life; a will directs your path. God knew where he would have you, and likely you have unknowingly submitted to that current in cases when the best way was unclear to you. I am saying your ignorant choices had an unseen direction to them and even an unseen wisdom. Where have they brought you?

3. The thing that brings you peace

What we mean by “calling” is a role, place, or endeavor that appeals to the best part of you, giving that part freedom and putting that part to use. The experience of the self fully breathing and fully moving in this way is peaceful. The very fruit of the Spirit is peace (Galatians 5:22). In what context do you know peace?

To highlight this clue more narrowly: What do you do that gives you the experience of your worries falling quiet?

4. The thing that makes you happy while making someone else happy

Relationships with other people are lopsided more often than we care to admit. We routinely do work out of obligation or concession to someone else. There is nothing wrong with this. But pay attention to those special cases in which the thing someone appreciates you doing or even needs you to do is the very thing to which you are deeply happy to give your energies and your time.

5. The thing that causes your suffering to relent

For those who carry pain—physical, emotional, spiritual—that pain is often a negative guide. Nearly everything might seem too difficult or pointless to pursue, except for that thing able to overcome the ache, anger, remorse, or sorrow by allowing this pain to recede. The thing able to overcome pain for a time might be unrelated to the pain. Or, it might be directly related, something that gives the pain purpose or meaning, something that reveals this pain to be part of the call.

WHAT YOUR CALLING IS NOT

Now, some cautions about the false ideas and influences that can keep you from your calling:

1. Not just one thing

With respect to the actor Jack Palance, I depart from the movie City Slickers and the famous line he delivered in that film. His character Curly offered advice about finding “one thing.” But we do not each have just one calling in this world. Our lives are more complex than this, richer than this.

Sometimes one calling will predominate for a time, and sometimes a calling will fall quiet because another calling is in season, but even this is not always the case. Our callings call in unison, and it falls to us to find the harmony. Even Jesus had multiple missions (see Matthew 4:23).

2. Not the thing other people tell you to be about

They mean well! But all another person can offer you in terms of choosing a direction is the safe way, the lucrative way, or the way that appeals to them. The calling is yours, including yours to hear. The value of counsel comes after you have heard it. Find a guide or mentor who follows something like the same call as you.

3. Not the thing you ought to do, or keep doing, to fulfill others’ expectations

Saying yes to something potentially means saying no to many other things. Emerson said, “To be great is to be misunderstood.” I feel like offering a slight rephrasing: “To be great is to disappoint people.”

4. Not the thing that is easy to give attention to

Your email inbox is not a calling.

5. Not the thing that makes perfect sense

Your rich life will include at least one worthy calling that rings out by joy alone, offering little expectation for where that calling might lead you or what it might mean. At least, I hope for you to have this. As I stated at the start, the very reason we follow these callings is because of the Caller, and what he might show us in the direction of this call. We walk with him along the paths he reveals (Psalm 119:105), experiencing with him the mysteries that are his alone to make plain (Jeremiah 33:3).