What to Say to Someone Who is Hurting or Has Suffered a Loss

People in pain add to their pain by fearing that what they are experiencing is a burden or bother to others.

And people who have suffered a loss fear that this loss is the beginning and that other things will be lost to them as well.

I have heard, “No one ever knows what to say” to those who are feeling these things. So, once when I was feeling bad, I jotted some lines I thought would be meaningful to hear. I recently was reminded of those lines and looked them up again.

To someone hurting, I think maybe you say this:

“I know you’re sad. Just know that if you need to go ahead and be sad—if you’re sullen, or withdrawn, or not quite there—that’s OK. I’ll still be around, and I’ll even be here if you need anything from me.”

Or maybe you say:

“I’m your friend, and no clock is running on what you’re dealing with. I know you need to go through this. I am not going anywhere.”